Mallorca Misadventures

Travelers Beware....

We have already established that I am not a food blogger…I always remember to take a photo just before taking the last bite. Today, I will prove that I am not a typical travel blogger. But I will be honest, and perhaps save you some time and money if you visit Mallorca.

Denise relaxing on the streets of Palma.

Palma de Mallorca

217 miles east of Valência, one finds the five Balearic Islands. Palma, located on the largest island, Majorca,¹ is the largest city and capital of this autonomous community. Since the mid-20th century, tourism has been the driver of Palma’s growth. With only 416,000 residents, Palma welcomes over 13 million tourists each year. We spent six days in Palma, a long Easter weekend. So while not as busy as its busiest summer months (July and August) the city had an “upscale destination buzz”. Awash with a wide variety of very good restaurants, tucked away on narrow winding streets, it reminded us of Madeira.

Don’t Do This

Next week I will tell you about where to stay, and what to do should you visit Mallorca. But this week I will share two “misadventures”. Specifically, two Viator tours that we took that didn’t turn out exactly as advertised.

From the Viator website.

Drach Caves, Half-Day Tour

Perhaps I did not read the description carefully enough or misinterpreted the photo above. Perhaps we have seen much larger caves during our travels throughout the US, at times being alone or with one or two others. Whatever the reason, we were disappointed. I imagined Denise and I, with perhaps two dozen others, descending amidst stalagmites and stalactites to a watery oasis. There we would board a row boat and enjoy the natural beauty while listening to classical music. Not exactly…

Instead, we boarded a bus (which arrived 30 minutes after the time printed on our ticket) and traveled for just under 1 hour. We then queued up with at least 250 others and descended 171 steps on narrow walkways. Often the person in front of us stopped without signalling to capture the moment for their Instagram account. I often felt like a human domino. When we reached the lake we were seated in an amphitheater of sorts. A boat with four or five talented classical musicians rowed by while playing Nessun Dorma. Now don’t get me wrong. That song always brings tears to my eyes…but even it was not enough to make me recommend this tour.

Following the musical interlude, we were offered two options. Wait in an endless line to board an 8-person rowboat to sail 50 feet, or return the way we came. We took the latter route. We then were provided ample time to visit the Mallorcan Pearl Factory. While I found the infomercial interesting (a small nucleus of white glass is covered with 30-40 layers of a liquid that consists of ground-up fish scales, or other marine animal particles) I didn’t need all that time for shopping. In all your 4-hour trip consists of 2 hours on a bus, 1 hour in the cave, and 1 hour for shopping.

From the Viator website.

One-day Sightseeing Tour with Vintage Train and Boat Ride

We had talked with friends before visiting Mallorca. They suggested that six days was too much time to just stay in Palma. Instead, they said we should get out and see the rest of the island. We did…and it seemed everything went wrong. We boarded a bus and ascended the Serra de Tramuntana mountain range…hundreds of switchbacks that made you wonder how many years it took the bus driver to learn to navigate this route. It also made me worry that Denise might get sick…as she is prone to motion sickness. Partway up the mountain, the driver noticed black plumbs of smoke coming from the rear of the bus. He pulled to one side, no mean feat on these roads, and disembarked. After 10 minutes, he reboarded the bus and announced we would make it to the top…but rather than spending 30 minutes visiting the monastery, we would have 1.5 hours as we waited for another bus to arrive.

After 1.5 hours we boarded another bus and more switchbacks. This time to a coastal hamlet called Port Soller. There we were to have time to shop and enjoy a leisurely lunch…but as we were late, we were ushered to a boat with many other busloads. About 10 minutes, into what was supposed to be a 30-minute trip, the staff started roaming the aisles passing out plastic bags. I am not exaggerating when I say that 20% of the boat was heaving (actually all of the boat was heaving, but only 20% of the passengers). Fortunately, Denise had used her motion sickness medication before boarding and though queasy was spared the worst of it.

Because of the wind and rough seas, the ride took a bit longer. The passengers erupted in applause as the dock appeared. But in the process of docking, a line became wrapped around the propeller. After 20 minutes, the offending line was freed and we gratefully disembarked. We were rushed to a nearby tram, and then to the vintage train. 60 minutes later we boarded buses for a short ride back to Palma. ²

Roaming the streets of Palma.

The Best Part

The couples we met were the best part of the trips. The first, during the cave trip, was a couple in their 50s and 60s who lived in Alicante Spain having immigrated from Jacksonville Florida. On the second trip, we met a lovely 30-something couple from Toronto. They suggested we sign up for a wine-tasting experience in Palma, which we did the next night. It was one of the highlights of our trip…and I will share that, along with other highlights³, next week.

Até lá, Desejo-vos boas viagens,

Nano

1. Please don’t get confused … I have found three spellings for this place: Mallorca, Malorca (Google Maps), and Majorca. It would seem the correct spelling is Mallorca. Majorca is a British term for the island as they did not know how to pronounce “ll”.

2. I will note that our guide did an exceptional job that day despite the difficulties.

3. Including how to enjoy the vintage train and Soller/Port Soller for a lot less money.