The Country You Choose

It's complicated...

In 2017, we took a Baltic cruise with friends. While large ship cruising is not our favorite way to travel (Denise got her typical large ship respiratory illness while on board), we enjoyed all the stops … except for one … St Petersburg.

Russia

It was billed by the cruise line as the “big draw.” However, I hated every minute of our time in St Petersburg.

• There was the annoying passport control at the entry. Sad, angry people in ugly uniforms who spent more time than necessary with Muslim travelers.

• There were the gray, poorly constructed apartment buildings and the locals who displayed empty stares as they walked through the city.

• There were the robotic private tour guides we hired. Neither laughed at any of my jokes … and everyone agrees I can be pretty funny.

• The “highlight” of the tour was visiting palaces that were the inspiration for Trump’s private residences … and now, unfortunately, the White House. I think I am going to barf.

The whole time I was there, I was thinking … why are you supporting this economy? In retrospect, I wish I hadn’t.

Image from Pixabay

Bucket List vs Integrity

My maternal grandmother was born in Hungary and migrated to the US as a child. While I don’t recall her talking about the “old country”,¹ for some reason, I have always wanted to visit Budapest. Many friends have visited and love the city. But, so far, I have curtailed my urge to visit there. Like Putin … I have no interest in supporting Orban’s government.

In 2010, Hungarian Prime Minister Viktor Orbán came to power. Since then, he and his party, Fidesz, have systematically dismantled the country’s legal system and changed the election system to ensure future election victories. It is becoming harder and harder to criticise the government’s actions due to increasing restrictions by the government on the freedoms for media and civil society. It is not surprising that Fidesz won two-thirds of the seats in parliament 2014 and 2018, despite receiving less than 50 per cent of the votes in the 2014 and 2018 parliamentary elections. — Civil Rights Defenders

And then there is the gay thing. But it’s complicated …

Denise and a door in Rabat.

We Just Returned

We just returned from Morocco … a moderate Islamic country. I am not sure if the tour operator gave our driver, Zak, a “heads up” before the trip. Zak asked how long we had been friends. Denise responded, “Nancy is my wife. We have been together nearly 30 years. We were married in 2014.” Zak didn’t seem to have a problem with it. He spoke with us about distinguishing the teachings of the Qur’an from those of certain Islamic leaders.²

And while same sex relationships are illegal in Morocco (punishable by up to 3 years in prison), my conversations with Zak suggested that such convictions are very rare. Of course, we are not kissing on the street.³ But I still am torn. Should we only travel to countries whose politics and social norms we agree with?

Somehow, my choice to boycott Putin or Orban seems different. Most countries’ social norms have been dictated by religion. I don’t want to discriminate against people who practice any religion.

In addition, our love of travel is driven by our curious minds. While you may read about a country, you can only experience it by being there. You can learn a lot from books … but…

I recall reading a Substack post by Brent and Michael are Going Places. Unfortunately, that post is now behind their paywall. But I found it, or something very similar, they wrote, here.

But we honestly think the issue is more complicated than many people make it sound. We’re not against boycotts in general, but we think they only really work when they’re organized — and when the organizers make specific demands of their governments.

In other words, we think vague, informal boycotts usually only succeed in making the boycotter feel good.

We’ve asked a lot of local LGBTQ+ people what they think about boycotts of their homophobic countries. In every single case, local people have told us they think informal boycotts are a terrible idea.

Local LGBTQ+ people almost always want more supportive visitors to come to their countries — to support LGBTQ+ businesses, to increase visibility, and to say to homophobic governments: “Look, LGBTQ+ people are nothing to be afraid of, and we need to move into the modern world!” — Brent and Michael

Image from Pixabay

Informal Boycott

I have continued to “boycott” Budapest, a city I have always wanted to visit. Meanwhile, we are planning a trip to Egypt next year. Somehow, I categorized that as a trip to the pyramids and the Nile rather than the country.⁴ Perhaps I need to rethink my informal Budapest boycott.

What do you think?

Do you consider politics or social norms when you make your travel plans?

Boas viagens, tchau

Nanc

1. And her accent was 100% Philadelphian. She used to joke about Zsa Zsa Gabor's accent.

2. In fact, during one long drive, he and I had a wonderful conversation related to my own theological studies. While an undergraduate, I had studied Biblical scholars such as Johann Gottfried Eichhorn and landed on the belief that one must view religious writings in a socio-historical context.

3. And we all know that homophobic men have less of a problem (if not a downright fascination) with lesbians, while they are offended by gay men.

4. Meanwhile, Egypt is a military dictatorship, ranking 130th out of 180 on Transparency International’s 2024 Corruption Perceptions Index. (1 is good.)