Our First Three Years

1104 days and counting...

We landed in Lisbon 1104 days ago, assuming you are reading this on the date it was published. We had never visited Portugal. It wasn't even on our radar six months earlier. But we sold nearly everything, jumped through a few bureaucratic hoops, and here we are three years later…

Denise, taken a few weeks ago, in a cafe in Aveiro.

Things

The poster on the wall spoke to me. It was more like a shout. Neither Denise nor I have ever been overly attached to things.

• We sold three of our five homes in the US turnkey. (If you have difficulty purging, this is a great way to do it.)

• Neither of us has ever owned a storage container.

• We routinely go through our closets and donate anything we don’t love.

Getting rid of stuff has always made me feel lighter. It is not only easy … it is enjoyable.

So, yes, I guess confirmation bias kicked in.

Lake Como, August 2022.

Experiences

So what does any of this have to do with living in Portugal? The last three years have solidified, that experiences are more important to me than things.

This was not always the case. When I was younger, I had a minor car obsession. I loved my 1976 yellow TR7, the first car I bought entirely on my own. Later, there was my singular focus on owning a Mercedes before I turned 30. I didn’t own it…rather I leased it. And I smiled each time I gazed at the hood ornament for a few weeks. I also enjoyed owning a Saab 900 convertible and an Audi TT Roadster, but for the most part, I lived in Toyota-land. First with Camrys and Avalons, and then with Priuses.

In addition, as I matured I owned each vehicle longer. 2-3 years stretched to 7-10 by the last time we sold a car in the States. My car-buying journey is an allegory for the fact that things don’t bring joy.

The view outside the kitchen window of our first apartment in VRSA.

Experiences vs Things

As I pondered writing this piece, I used my Google machine to find if there was any literature to support my view. And I found a lot …

Once we buy one thing, a better and newer version seems to be released. It’s a constant chase for temporary happiness. If only there was something out there that can bring us permanent, everlasting joy instead of the temporary happiness that things bring us. Well, guess what? There is. It’s called experience. — HaveFunDoGood

As someone who switched to Apple products after retiring…I can relate to the first sentence above!

People derive more satisfaction from experiential purchases (e.g., travel, entertainment, outdoor activities, meals out) than material purchases (e.g., clothing, jewelry, furniture, gadgets), both in prospect and retrospect. — Kumar, Killingsworth, and Gilovich, 2020

I also found literature that suggested that many of us “buy experiences” the wrong way. [I am certain you have observed the young girl posing (one leg bent, toe pointed to the ground, head tilted just so, smiling spontaneously) … her perfect presence captured for all of her Instagram followers to envy. We saw many men and women posed like this in the Mesquita Cathedral. Oy!]

As I gazed upon them I thought back to a text I received from friends the night I snapped the photo at the top of this page. They had volunteered with an Algarve charity that distributed gifts to needy families in their area. And I thought…those are the best things in life.

Viva a sua melhor vida, Até à próxima semana

Nanc